Update on Grandma’s Condition (Part 3)

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IMG 20130304 161537 | Update on Grandma's Condition (Part 3)
Continuing from Update on Grandma’s Condition (Part 2)

2 March 2013
I went home last night to get some rest while mum stays there. Nose is bleeding quite frequently now so I decided to see doctor before going to visit grandma. Apparently, it’s nothing serious and is quite common. Doctor said it needs 2-4 weeks for the tissue to repair. That explains why it always recur. I always stop touching my nose for 1 week max only.

Waiting to do the procedure in late evening felt like a long wait. We were glad that it was successful but still need to wait 3 days more only know whether it did help the bile to flow or not. Doctor was worried that the bile is too thick and might make the metal stent stuck as well so there’s now a tube on grandma’s right stomach, just in case if they need to remove the stent or what, then they don’t need to puncture again. She was shivering badly when she came out from the procedure room. We tried to cover her with 4 blankets but to no avail. She also said that it was very painful since the doctor didn’t use much anesthetic on her, considering the risk based on her age. I overnight here to take care of her. When she needs to pee, I need to help her slot in the bed pan and throw away the urine after that. The arms on my muscle also felt pain cos I’ve been supporting her up from the bed too many times.

4 March 2013
Went home to sleep last night and when I reached grandma’s room, mum told me her wound is bleeding. DAFUQ! Apparently, grandma lowered her body while passing motion, making it bleed. They didn’t know it was bleeding until they saw blood on the attire. Luckily the blood stopped by itself and now hope that there won’t be any infection. Instead of using bed pan, we opted adult diapers instead but we need to help her change and clean ourselves.

Secretly snapped grandma's photo. The medication is making her drowsy.
Secretly snapped grandma’s photo.
The medication is making her drowsy.

At night, mum tried to pick a fight with me. I really really can’t stand her. No matter how I ignore her, she still won’t give up in picking a fight with me. Imagine there’s an annoying fly that keeps bugging you. She’s supposed to be there to take care of grandma but all she did was walking back and forth with no clear purpose, fiddling with her plastic bags and opening the tap to max which made a lot of noise! How can the patient rest with so much noise? It even annoyed me until my chest is hurting. Out of frustration, I stomped out from the room. Seeing us arguing, grandma cried and mum started to blame everything on me instead of blaming herself for starting it first. And she still continue to mumble in front grandma while I just kept quiet. It’s actually my shift today but mum said she’s worried so she insists to stay overnight as well. But tell me, did she helped or worsen everything?

Tired of crying
Tired of crying

5 March 2013
Doctor is going to scan the metal stent to see if it performs as intended and if everything is OK, they will remove the plastic tube outside. I accompanied my grandma until outside of the procedure room. While waiting, I was browsing through a magazine provided there when suddenly, emergency light and beeping sound was heard from my grandma’s procedure room. I got panicked when I heard an announcement saying it’s “Code Blue” and requested all imaging department staff to rush in. My heart totally sank, not knowing what’s happening inside. After a while, I got to know from a staff that she experienced respiratory arrest and they had to help her do CPR. Luckily she managed to regain conciousness. However, she is suffering from low blood pressure, her diastolic reading is only 40-55. Due to this, the nurses would need to come in and check her blood pressure every 1 hour – which means no quality sleep tonight.

6 March 2013
One of Tung Shin Hospital’s physician, Dr. Kuan came to grandma’s room to check the cause of grandma’s low blood pressure. He said cancer will affect the blood pressure and if her blood pressure suddenly drops a lot or her heart suddenly stops beating then she might pass away anytime so we must be prepared and he said he thinks still got another few months left only (!!!). When I said Dr. Nandy mentioned he estimated 2 years more, I said he don’t think so T__T

He asked us to discuss with family members whether to resuscitate her or not if this happens. I said we sure wanna try to save her first ma… if she feels suffer and can’t take it only let go la… but he said by that time maybe she can’t talk and unconscious already so she won’t be able to decide herself and this will only prolong her pain. In the meantime, he will give her some medication to increase her blood pressure. Went home for a while to change and planned to take a nap but at the end no time to take nap. I can’t help but to cry while praying. I only wish that grandma can have another 2 years to spend. I’m willing to give her 2 years from my life. Anyone knows where to do this?

P/S: Thank you to all my friends who offered well wishes and keep my grandma in their prayers ♥
To those who left comment in my blog post, I will try to hop back to your blog asap =)

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  1. Camy Lau says:

    stay strong charmaine! take good care of urself. ur grandma needs u

  2. The Yum List says:

    So sorry. My thoughts are with you.

  3. Merryn says:

    My prayers goes to your Grandma and also to you, your mom and your family to be strong throughout this testing period. Keep calm and take good care of yourself. You need to be strong and healthy to take care of your Grandma. Hugs.

  4. chilicandy says:

    How are you now ? I hope you keep strong and don't forget to take care of your own health too.

    I know when there isn't enough rest, and with loved ones being so sick that you feel like you might lose them, you will easier get into unhappy disagreements with another.. Try to relax, and stay in good term with your mom ? Yeah, it will really pains your grandma to see a fighting or unhappy family members.

    Try to stay cheerful, your cheerfulness will lessens your grandma's pain, when she sees you smile, it's a beautiful scene of you that she's seing. So, try to remember that. No matter how tired or hard it is, stays cheerful for her. So, she don't feel like she's giving a burden to everyone. When an elder person is sick, sometimes they could feel that they are being a burden to their family, that they gives up living.

    *hugs* I wish the best for you , your family and your grandma…<3

    1. Charmaine Pua says:

      Thanks dearie… she still doesn't know that she has cancer. I'm worried on how to persuade her to go vegan and not to eat food that is too 'bou' cos it will only be absorbed by the tumor =(

  5. Yee Ling says:

    Stay strong dearie. My prayers goes to ur grandma, you and ur family. Take good care.

  6. Cindy Tong says:

    Stay strong dear..It's jus another obstacle…I believe you will be able to make it through…I will pray for your grandma for sure…

  7. Cindy Tong says:

    and dun worry on hopping back on our blog…u jus make sure u have sufficient rest k?

  8. missyblurkit says:

    Stay strong…its not an easy time. I went through 2 cancer care sessions for 2 aunties…it isn't easy and any times quarrels or arguments are just methods of coping with frustrations. If you need help, you have to ask. And if you think its becoming hard to cope emotionally and physically, seek help. Most hospitals will refer you according to your needs.

    DNR is a sensitive issue. Make sure its discussed with the immediate elders of the family (normally in this case the parents, aunties and uncles). We signed a DNR for my aunt who passed away last year. Not easy but had to reason out with my cousin and my mum. In our case, its my aunt's 3rd fight with C in 3 years.

    I am a call away if you need to chat etc. Hugs girl!

  9. michleong says:

    Got teary reading this post (and the other parts) of yours. Hope your grandma will get through this time of difficulty. You and your family as well. All prayers goes to the recovery of your grandma.

  10. Huai Bin says:

    Take care Charmaine!

    I know how it feels like, it's just the stress of everything. Me and my sister got into huge, epic arguments when my mom went for surgery after her diagnosis of lung cancer too. It's just the stressful situation, hope everything is okay.

    My prayers goes out to your grandma and you too!

  11. suituapui says:

    When people are old and healthy, we pray they would live longer and enjoy their golden years. When they are sick and frail, sometimes it is best to let go – no point making them suffer on and on. Be strong, my prayers be with you and your family during these difficult times. God bless all of you with strength and your grandma too.

  12. Hilda Milda™ says:

    Sorry to hear about your grandmum. Wishing her speedy recovery. You gotta be strong and take care of yourself too! Everything will be fine eventually. God bless!

  13. Yuh Jiun says:

    Stay strong and take care! I know it's not easy but maybe think more on the positive side? 🙂 Cheer ya I bet your grandma doesnt want you all to be sad also. Pray hard for her *finger crossed***

  14. mabelebam says:

    So sorry to hear about your grandma's condition, Charmaine. Remember that 'Tough times don't last, but tough people do.' Things WILL get better. Keep your head up, stay positive and remember to be strong.

    Praying for you and your family.
    God bless.

  15. Xue Ren says:

    i'm so sorry to hear about your granny's condition. stay strong alright? your granny needs you. i'll pray hard for you and your granny. take good care of urself charmaine.

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