2 March 2013
I went home last night to get some rest while mum stays there. Nose is bleeding quite frequently now so I decided to see doctor before going to visit grandma. Apparently, it’s nothing serious and is quite common. Doctor said it needs 2-4 weeks for the tissue to repair. That explains why it always recur. I always stop touching my nose for 1 week max only.
Waiting to do the procedure in late evening felt like a long wait. We were glad that it was successful but still need to wait 3 days more only know whether it did help the bile to flow or not. Doctor was worried that the bile is too thick and might make the metal stent stuck as well so there’s now a tube on grandma’s right stomach, just in case if they need to remove the stent or what, then they don’t need to puncture again. She was shivering badly when she came out from the procedure room. We tried to cover her with 4 blankets but to no avail. She also said that it was very painful since the doctor didn’t use much anesthetic on her, considering the risk based on her age. I overnight here to take care of her. When she needs to pee, I need to help her slot in the bed pan and throw away the urine after that. The arms on my muscle also felt pain cos I’ve been supporting her up from the bed too many times.
4 March 2013
Went home to sleep last night and when I reached grandma’s room, mum told me her wound is bleeding. DAFUQ! Apparently, grandma lowered her body while passing motion, making it bleed. They didn’t know it was bleeding until they saw blood on the attire. Luckily the blood stopped by itself and now hope that there won’t be any infection. Instead of using bed pan, we opted adult diapers instead but we need to help her change and clean ourselves.
|Secretly snapped grandma’s photo.|
The medication is making her drowsy.
At night, mum tried to pick a fight with me. I really really can’t stand her. No matter how I ignore her, she still won’t give up in picking a fight with me. Imagine there’s an annoying fly that keeps bugging you. She’s supposed to be there to take care of grandma but all she did was walking back and forth with no clear purpose, fiddling with her plastic bags and opening the tap to max which made a lot of noise! How can the patient rest with so much noise? It even annoyed me until my chest is hurting. Out of frustration, I stomped out from the room. Seeing us arguing, grandma cried and mum started to blame everything on me instead of blaming herself for starting it first. And she still continue to mumble in front grandma while I just kept quiet. It’s actually my shift today but mum said she’s worried so she insists to stay overnight as well. But tell me, did she helped or worsen everything?
|Tired of crying|
5 March 2013
Doctor is going to scan the metal stent to see if it performs as intended and if everything is OK, they will remove the plastic tube outside. I accompanied my grandma until outside of the procedure room. While waiting, I was browsing through a magazine provided there when suddenly, emergency light and beeping sound was heard from my grandma’s procedure room. I got panicked when I heard an announcement saying it’s “Code Blue” and requested all imaging department staff to rush in. My heart totally sank, not knowing what’s happening inside. After a while, I got to know from a staff that she experienced respiratory arrest and they had to help her do CPR. Luckily she managed to regain conciousness. However, she is suffering from low blood pressure, her diastolic reading is only 40-55. Due to this, the nurses would need to come in and check her blood pressure every 1 hour – which means no quality sleep tonight.
6 March 2013
One of Tung Shin Hospital’s physician, Dr. Kuan came to grandma’s room to check the cause of grandma’s low blood pressure. He said cancer will affect the blood pressure and if her blood pressure suddenly drops a lot or her heart suddenly stops beating then she might pass away anytime so we must be prepared and he said he thinks still got another few months left only (!!!). When I said Dr. Nandy mentioned he estimated 2 years more, I said he don’t think so T__T
He asked us to discuss with family members whether to resuscitate her or not if this happens. I said we sure wanna try to save her first ma… if she feels suffer and can’t take it only let go la… but he said by that time maybe she can’t talk and unconscious already so she won’t be able to decide herself and this will only prolong her pain. In the meantime, he will give her some medication to increase her blood pressure. Went home for a while to change and planned to take a nap but at the end no time to take nap. I can’t help but to cry while praying. I only wish that grandma can have another 2 years to spend. I’m willing to give her 2 years from my life. Anyone knows where to do this?
P/S: Thank you to all my friends who offered well wishes and keep my grandma in their prayers ♥
To those who left comment in my blog post, I will try to hop back to your blog asap =)